Dubious Uncertainty
by Cringe
Summary: Based upon the song If you were gay from the broadway musical Avenue Q. Pairings: Implied 'onesided' JackWill and JackNorrington...RR? [AU]


Title: Dubious Uncertainty  
Author: Keylah  
Rating: PG? PG-13  
Summary: Based upon the song "If you were gay" from the broadway musical Avenue Q.  
Pairings: Implied 'one-sided' Jack/Will and Jack/Norrington  
Disclaimer: PoTC and all affiliated characters belong to Disney and whoever else holds the copyright.  
A/N: Since this is an AU, assume that 1. Will, Norrington, and Elizabeth share an apparent and have a platonic relationship. 2. They're all around the same age, give or take a 2 or 3 years. 3. All are out of college. 4. Norrington's...more like scruffy-Norrington from DMC. Not so uptight...

That said. Go ahead and read.

----

"Dammit Will! I didn't like it any more then you did!"

Elizabeth winced as the door to their small shared apartment slammed shut, she looked down at her tea, watching the ripples slowly settle.

"Dare I ask how work went?" she inquired carefully.

Will Turner, her childhood friend, stormed through the kitchen, his face a bright red as he threw his coat onto the back of the sofa before flopping down on couch.

James Norrington soon followed after, his face also slightly flushed, though more composed then Will, "Will, there's no need to throw such a fit!"

"He.stuck.his.hand.down.my.pants!" came the growled response from among the mass of pillows.

"Now, you don't know that for sure…"

"It was no accident! How many times do I have to tell you!"

Elizabeth blinked, and got up from the kitchen table and set the tea aside (heaven forbid if it spilled, it was damn good tea, and if it did, then when this whole affair smoothed over, there would be hell to pay)

"Will, James, calm down. What happened?" she asked bemused and utterly baffled.

"I am never riding the subway again. Never." Will snarled into the pillow.

Elizabeth huffed, "That didn't answer my question."

Norrington gave a very good impression of rolling his eyes while not actually doing it in the first place, "Apparently some fellow on the subway decided to hit on us."

"Us?"

"He was quite persistent…" Norrington continued as if he didn't hear her (though his flush did grow slightly darker)

"Persistant my arse." Will muttered

"I'm sure he didn't…"

"He did it on purpose! His hand didn't bloody slip!"

"Will, for gods sake, the man was drunk! He was clutching a damned jug of rum and swaying like a madman!"

"Maybe he's always like that…" Will retorted.

"Will…."

"What did he look like?" She asked curious despite everything.

"About Will's height I believe, give or take an inch. Black hair. Red bandana." He added before Elizabeth could ask, "Reminded me of a pirate, really."

"Ah, so, you too?"

Norrington nodded slightly, "Yeah."

"And yet, you seem ever so much calmer then Will." She paused, "Will, could it be that you're just insecure in your sexuality?" Elizabeth blinked, "Well…Will, if you were gay, you might as well have just come out and said it. We'd still like you."

"I.am.not.gay!" Will protested angrily.

"You could have fooled me." Norrington muttered lowly. Fortunately, Will didn't hear him.

"Will…" _Methinks he doth protest too much_. Elizabeth thought to herself.

"I'm not 'Lizabeth! I liked you well enough back in middle school didn't I?"

"And haven't had a date, female or otherwise, since then? Really Will, if it bothers you this much we should probably talk about it."

Norrington simply went to the kitchen and dragged a chair out, and figured to hell with propriety, he'd been molested too, and straddled the chair, folding his arms over the back and resting his head as he watched.

Some entertainment would go a long way in distracting him from all the paperwork and project deadlines he had circling in his head.

"William Turner, look at me." Elizabeth said grumpily, (dammit, the tea was getting cold. And cold tea tasted bad…)

Will flipped over on his back and snagged the magazine resting on his head, "I'm reading. Go aw-." Will turned bright red as soon as he flipped the magazine open.

Norrington gave a short laugh, "William, really. You enjoy reading porn magazines? A bit of a paradox to your protests."

"Magazines with male models?" Elizabeth supplied helpfully, disregarding the fact that they were her magazines to begin with, "Will…I really think this is something we should be able to talk about."

"How many times do I have to tell you guys? I'm not gay!" He said, slamming the book shut and tossing it across the room and against the wall.

"Will." Elizabeth began, "It's nothing to be ashamed of if you happen to be gay. If I was homosexual, I can assure you that I would tell you and James the moment I realized it. I'm sure James would do the same, right?"

Norrington gave an, almost, snort, "Most certainly. I, however, know for a fact that I happen to be completely straight."

"It's the thought that counts!" Elizabeth hissed at him crossly. She wanted her tea, dammit.

"Now Will."

"Argh. You're not going to stop until I listen, are you." He grumbled halfhearted,

"No. Now, no matter who you're attracted to, James and I will be here for you every day of every year if you need someone to talk to. It's no fault of your own if you're attracted to someone of the same gender, James and I will never hold that against you. Understand?"

"…you haven't listened to a word I've said, have you. I told you, I'm not gay!"

Norrington mentally frowned when he realized he couldn't for the life of him figure out where he'd put the tape recorder, or the camcorder come to think of it.

"Will."

"I'm not gay!"

"Yes, yes." She said attempting to placate him, "But just in case. Do you understand William?"

"Just agree with her already." Norrington supplied helpfully.

"Fine." Will groused reluctantly.

"Good." Elizabeth stood up and made her way into the kitchen rolling her eyes.

Men.

-end-


End file.
